Evan Birnholzs Sept. 30 Post Magazine crossword, Split Ends

If you have some time to spare, check out speed-solver Jenna LaFleur attempting to solve my “Something Different” puzzle from a couple of weeks ago *Downs-only.* I assumed it would be impossible to solve it Downs-only because most of the Across answers are nonsensical, making it too hard to figure out what they’re supposed to be. But it is possible! Jenna solves several other puzzles in the video by Erik Agard and Frank Longo; the portion with my puzzle begins at 1:08:28.

45D: [Lines on which you will find the ends of this puzzle’s theme entries] is DIAGONALS, and that provides the key hint to understanding today’s theme. Four synonyms of the word “split” are the starts of phrases in which the ending words branch off diagonally in both directions. The theme clues refer to both two-word phrases, like so:

  • 31A: [Stealth action video game franchise bearing Tom Clancy’s name / Breakaway organization] is SPLINTER CELL / SPLINTER GROUP. The letters of CELL branch off up and to the right, and the letters of GROUP branch off down and to the right.
  • 36A: [Give up / Like many positions for students] is PART WITH / PART-TIME.
  • 100A: [1985 hit by Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin about a breakup / 1983 hit by Journey about a breakup, familiarly] is SEPARATE LIVES / SEPARATE WAYS. It surprised me to learn that the Journey song has a longer title: “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart).” I don’t know why they kept the parenthetical. Maybe they liked both as a title but couldn’t decide?
  • 106A: [Elevator at a construction site / Rare pitch that’s similar in grip to a splitter] is FORKLIFT / FORKBALL. These are a bit different from the others in that both FORKLIFT and FORKBALL are one-word answers.

It may seem like there’s not much theme material in the puzzle; just 67 squares directly contribute to the theme where normally I’ll have around 100. But as I periodically relearn every time I try it, diagonal answers are a massive pain to work with. They’re sort of like invasive weeds, stretching into all corners of the puzzle and thwarting numerous attempts to fill it to one’s satisfaction. Take the northeast corner, which has nine answers. If WITH were just a normal Down word, it would affect only five answers in that corner (the answer WITH itself and all four Across words crossing it). But as a diagonal word, it contributes letters to eight answers; the only one it doesn’t touch is OWLETS at 15D.

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This grid also features an unusual symmetrical pattern called “top-bottom” symmetry. Where most crossword grids have 180-degree rotational symmetry, meaning the arrangement of black squares is the same when you turn the grid upside-down, this grid features an unusual symmetrical pattern called “top-bottom” symmetry, where the arrangement of black squares in the top half are mirrored in the bottom half.

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If nothing else, the puzzle gave me an excuse to watch the music video for “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart),” which is widely considered to be one of the worst and most unintentionally hilarious music videos ever made.

Some other answers/clues:

  • 1A: [McDonald’s character who, despite his name, is often shown smiling] is GRIMACE. It looks like a smile to me.
  • 24A: [“Ulysses” poet Stephen] is DEDALUS. I didn’t know this answer before I wrote the puzzle.
  • 25A: [French body of water that anagrams to a type of ship] is LOIRE, which anagrams to OILER. OIL happens to be in the grid, too, at 109A: [___ lamp], but I’m okay with that pseudo-duplicated answer.
  • 56A: [Hero to many Philadelphians?] is HOAGIE. That’s what they call a hero sandwich in my neck of the woods.
  • 71A: [Stackable Livestock animals, in “The Far Side”] is COWS. Here’s the particular comic strip.
  • 126A: [Current name of the late 19th century?] seems like an oxymoron, but it’s Nikola TESLA, pioneer of alternating current.
  • 13D: [Final form for the tree in “The Giving Tree”] is STUMP. I forget where I saw it (on Twitter, probably), but someone made an amusing observation that since the boy in “The Giving Tree” wanted to use the tree’s apples and its trunk to earn money and buy a house, why didn’t he try to make a ton of money by marketing his talking tree?
  • 30D: [Instruments replaced by ordinary objects in “Stomp”] is DRUMS. I got to see a performance of “Stomp” the day after the Lollapuzzoola crossword tournament.
  • 77D: [Stan’s “Utopia” sidekick] is OLLIE. I didn’t just pull this movie from Wikipedia; I’ve actually seen it! My parents had a VHS copy and I watched it when I was younger.

See you next week!

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